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I did everything right. I arranged cookies in a circle and carrots into an upside-down pentagram within it. I put a glass of fresh Reindeer milk at the centre (the Reindeer itself having been ritually slain at the stroke of midnight) and jingled the bells in time with the snowfall, yet Santa STILL didn’t come!!!

Well okay he did, but he didn’t get me that Scalextric Grand Prix playset I asked for

I did everything right. I arranged cookies in a circle and carrots into an upside-down pentagram within it. I put a glass of fresh Reindeer milk at the centre (the Reindeer itself having been ritually slain at the stroke of midnight) and jingled the bells in time with the snowfall, yet Santa STILL didn’t come!!!

Well okay he did, but he didn’t get me that Scalextric Grand Prix playset I asked for

It appears you forgot the grand partridge consumption feast. I mean, I got the Bally™ Playset with a Dromoman™ Action Figure that *I* requested.

MATT – Why doesn’t your comic have a theme song? You wrote such a cool one for the Balloon Brothers show.

I wrote one for you if you want it.

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